Bohemian Cabaret

by Siobhan Dakay

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1.
You get used to things going wrong instead of right Working long hours and the money staying tight Life seems harsh and hardly ever kind Those bruised clouds hanging low are never silver-lined When we found each other, thought we’d break all those rules Our love was like a butterfly, a glittering jewel When we found each other, I started to exist Now it looks as if you’re feeling your way out of this Pride and motivation – I’ve forgotten what they mean It’s tough getting out of bed when times are so lean Suddenly you’re older and hope drags out the door And showing someone that you care becomes another chore When we found each other, we were dazed with pleasure Our love was an island piled high with pirate treasure When we found each other, we sailed a star-field of bliss Now it looks as if you’re feeling your way out of this
2.
A sacrifice seduced For the altar of Your vanity A jealous, hungry god Craving praises Of profanity With bedroom Darkened eyen And a deep mouth Stained with wine It drinks Its fill It was your mothers Not your brothers That agreed To feed you Poison This egregious Lack of choice in Deeds deemed fit To join your voice in With lies disguised as prizes Of reason and wisdom With briberies of finery To weaken any criticism Can the fly invade The blossom that Devours it? A mouth that lies in wait For a gift of life To shower it Or is it So entranced That’s it drawn into A dance It can’t Ever hope to understand You’re roaming Fueled on loathing Roving A wolf in sheep’s clothing Hunger growing Fluids flowing Knowing nothing But upholding The law That concedes Your need to feed To see them bleed To steal their seed To be your greed Your ego’s freed Took a shine to the wine To confine your mind Trying to climb down your spine With a plea to breed Bend them (The questions you’ve been asking Point to fears you have been masking) Rend them (Your movements and motions Are revealing strong emotions) Bend them (Your posturing and posing Cannot hide what you’re exposing) Rend them
3.
I haven’t heard a word from you in such a long, long while. Our differences as always are impossible to reconcile. I tried to call you on the phone. I’d hoped to speak with you alone. I left a message once or twice for what that’s worth. It seems you’ve fallen… Perhaps you’ve fallen… It’s like you’ve fallen off the face of the earth. That time you left I thought we’d see each other now and then. I’d find you some familiar place and ask, “Do you remember when?” It hasn’t worked out quite that way though I’ve been searching every day. There’s been no trace of you at all for what it’s worth. Perhaps you’ve fallen… It’s like you’ve fallen… It seems you’ve fallen off the face of the earth. I’ve never wanted anchors or routines that tie me down. I want to pull up stakes each time somebody speaks my name in town. But I’ve run far as I can go. There’s no one else I really know. You’re all I’ve ever really loved for what that’s worth. And now I’m fallin’… Each day I’m fallin’… I feel I’m fallin’ off the face of the earth. I haven’t heard a word from you in such a long, long while. I’ll leave this one last message in the hope that it might make you smile. But since you won’t return the call I’ll take the phone down off the wall and let this number be released for what it’s worth… and I’ll have fallen… just like you’ve fallen… I will have fallen off the face of the earth.
4.
I am trying not to break I am trying not to break Flooded by endless waves With only one escape That I am trying not to take Oh keep trying Oh keep trying I am trying not to break I am trying not to break My heart tugged towards the moon This tidal force of doom I am trying to live through Oh keep trying Oh keep trying I am trying not to break I am trying not to break Magnetic energy Flaring inside me I am trying to release Oh keep trying Oh keep trying (Ooo…) I am trying not to break I am trying not to break Flooded by endless waves With only one escape That I am trying not to take Oh keep trying Oh keep trying
5.
I’m afraid, you’re afraid We’re all afraid Why shouldn’t we be afraid People are dyin’, the world is cryin’ Why wouldn’t we be afraid Turn and face the end Turn and face the end Bullets and a hand grenade Supremacy, a castle made of fear and hate Why wouldn’t we be Dark and depressed or feel sick in the head Sooner or later we’ll all be dead So turn and face the end Turn and face the end ‘Cuz it’s over, yea it’s over This is hauntingly frightening I’m truly afraid Turn and face the end Face the end We are the criminals guilty of murder Our sins are original, defying the cosmic order Well nature is patient and kind But our karma of eye for an eye Is leaving us blind So we all deserve to die Turn and face the end Turn and face the end ‘Cuz it’s over, yea it’s over It’s gonna get worse so prepare For death and destruction Mass extermination And our final extinction You should be afraid, but don’t be afraid Turn and face the end Turn and face the end This is the ending, this is the end (So turn and face it) This is the ending, this is the end (So turn and face it) The end
6.
I see the moon reflected In my glass of garnet wine Seems its face is full of sorrow As sorrowful as mine It’s time for me to break all ties Make sail for that line Where the sea kisses the sky Now my glass has broken Like my fractured heart and mind I’ve a ticket marked for nowhere And I’ll take it as a sign To break away, make no last try My fate lies on that line Where the sea kisses the sky My ticket’s marked for nowhere I’ll take it as a sign To sail away, sail for that silver line Where the sea kisses the sky
7.
There might be a chance That I’m falling for you There’s not a lot I wouldn’t do for you There may come a time When you won’t find Me as lovely But between now and then Maybe you could find it in Your heart to love me Colors bled into themselves And the world grew so much smaller Then suddenly It was only you and I There might be a chance You don’t feel the same way There are a lot Of soothing words we could say Maybe in another time Circumstance will find Us together But even if not then The memory is in Our hearts forever Colors bled into themselves And the world grew so much smaller Then suddenly It was only you and I
8.
Je ne la reverrais plus Mathilde est partit. Son jardin restera vide. Elle ne me dira plus …Bonjour La chatelaine ne rentrerar plus Le poele de faience restera glacé. Oh Mathilde je pleure dans la chapelle, Je prie pour ton retour Mathilde… Reviens chez toi Tombé dans l’abîme, noyé au fond du puit Je revois le visage de ma princesse Où est tu ? Que fais tu ? Reviendras tu un jour? Peut être, je l’espère Nous avons des choses à faire Des choses à vivre Demain , l’horizon sera le tient, sera le nôtre.
9.
We’re walking arm in arm across this land, matching Freedom’s cadence stride for stride. To sweep aside corruption’s evil hand we’re walking arm in arm across this land. For fifty years uneasy peace did stand, bought by tears both sons and daughters cried. We’re walking arm in arm across this land, matching Freedom’s cadence stride for stride… We don’t accept exception proves the rule that some are born to serve while others rise or that the eye of Providence is cruel. We don’t accept exception proves the rule. And he who holds that color makes a fool should let his own religion catechize. We don’t accept exception proves the rule: that some are born to serve while others rise. From west to east, then east to west we’ll trawl driving spite and hatred to the sea. Into the deep we’ll watch it writhe and fall. From west to east, then east to west we’ll trawl. When morning sunlight finds the things that crawl out of the shadows of hypocrisy, from west to east, then east to west we’ll trawl, driving spite and hatred to the sea. We’re marching arm in arm across this land, Freedom’s voices shouting side by side. Guarding truth with every heart and hand we’re marching arm in arm across this land. Where millions died more millions fight to stand. not to oppose us but to share our pride: “We’re marching arm in arm across this land!” Freedom’s voices shouting side by side.
10.
It’s suddenly silent I was expecting this Pointed rivet of madness Pinning me here When did I start to forget? The shade of your eyes And the words that you said This can’t be happening I’ll wait here for you All my days My lips are aching And waiting for and your truth to return I’m losing the memory of your face And the sound of your voice that once burned In me like the story Of abandoned Garden For earthly priority This can’t be happening Can’t sleep or let go I’ll wait here for you I’ll stand in the rain I will pray I will stay I’ll wait here for you All my days All my days All my days All my days Maybe all we need is time Maybe you will change your mind Maybe you will seek and find The me reflecting in you Lover lift the curtain Enter my temple, my inner sanctum Is this happening We’re here all alone I’ll wait here for you I’ll stand in the rain I will pray I will stay I’ll wait here for you I’ll take all the blame Wear your letter of shame I’ll wait here for you All my days All my days All my days I’ll wait here for you All my days I’ll wait here for you All my days I’ll wait here for you I’ll wait here for you I’ll wait here for you All my days I’ll wait here for you All my days I’ll wait here for you I’ll wait here for you I’ll wait here for you I’ll wait here for you I’ll wait here for you
11.
He lives in the moment When he’s happy, his face lights up His eyes glow When he’s concerned, overwhelmed, distraught His entire being is devastated He lives in the moment One moment Now If it happened 2 minutes ago It didn’t happen at all There is no future But there is a past He can time-travel to a foggy memory Pride fills in missing pieces But it’s real to him It’s the truth And maybe it really is the truth And what we thought we knew never was And now we’ll never know He lives in the moment Distracted by strangers, he gawks Captivated, lost in thought I try to bring him back Often resorting to waving my hand in his face Repeating “Dad? Dad? Dad?” over and over Even then, it’s hard to redirect him He’s stuck with curiosity He’s lost in the moment He lives in the moment Music transports him to the past Whisking him away He sings along He makes up his own songs He has a boom box and CDS of the Beatles, Simon and Garfunkel, and Joni Mitchell And classical recordings of Beethoven, Mozart, and Bach He comes alive when he hears these sounds But he doesn’t remember to push play He lives in the moment Repeating questions Repeating stories Each evening feels like the movie ‘Groundhog Day’ Never-ending lessons of patience But often He repeats the sweetest things possible Love, admiration, gratitude And I feel like the luckiest daughter With the kindest father He lives in the moment Sometimes he’s aware, lucid He’ll talk about his memory He’ll say he doesn’t remember anything But he’ll never forget me I want believe it’s true I cry, he cries Sometimes it’s a question he asks “Do you think my memory is going bad?” I say “yes.” Silence. Sometime he’ll say that not remembering isn’t so bad He’s happy I want to believe it And maybe he really is Because he lives in the moment.
12.
wake up, look at the ceiling think of sleeping, get up while you can sit down, look at the monitor think of the decline of patience get up, look at the bed head too heavy to think lie down, look at the ceiling think of nothing, sleep and it goes around
13.
There’s a tall man on the shore There’s a shallow wind A few tracks in the damp sand They’re easy — lighter than a child Step by step, stone by stone Are you searching for ancient treasure A singing seagull on a cliff A song without reason Never ever have you found No one knows what you are searching for Are you searching for the hours falsely deducted from the account of your life The quiet, a gentle wind Your search seems so vain Your days are so loud One day, the wind and the empty beach A seagull sails high above your head On the last day you found in the sand the sense of it all It’s been the quiet hours Never ever have you found No one knows what you are searching for Are you searching for the hours falsely deducted from the account of your life The quiet, a gentle wind Your search seems so vain Your days are so loud
14.
A moment of clarity Triggered out of nowhere By the unexpected A fragrance A strangers laugh The crisp morning air The colors of the sky When this moment strikes Life pauses And memories rush in Overpowering space and time Like a spiral of time travel Focusing on a single fold A single thread A single connection And for a moment One moment Everything is real. Fear. Sadness. Comfort. Everything is clear. Until it dissipates. Back. To now.

about

Siobhan Dakay has a signature experimental sound that seamlessly segues from jazz, pop, classical, and electronic music while fully embodying the lyrical meaning of his vocal collaborators. ‘Bohemian Cabaret’ features an eclectic troupe of ccMixter vocalists, including Moira Waugh, Zutsuri, Mr. Yesterday, Madam Snowflake, and more. Each auditory selection Siobhan Dakay makes in his genre-melding arrangements is derived with deep emotional intent. The result is a collection of work that is magically immersive and intensely stirring.

credits

released September 4, 2018

Featured Artists: Moira Waugh, Zutsuri, Mr. Yesterday, Madam Snowflake, Kara Square, Bluemillenium, SackJo22, Orrisroot, Copperhead, Jack Burgess, Martijn De Boer, Doxent Zsigmond

Produced by Siobhan Dakay & ccMixter
Copyright: Siobhan Dakay & ccMixter
Publishing: ArtisTech Media
Mastered by Siobhan Dakay
Cover Art by Kara Square
Cover Image by Billy Williams
unsplash.com/photos/g7PbZm9IGWQ

license

Some rights reserved. Please refer to individual track pages for license info.

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